Matt hits Nippon.

“Good Morning everyone... today we have a special visitor in class. He is called Matt and he is from England.”

This weekend, a good friend of mine from England came to visit. I first met Matt back in Whistler, Canada, in 2000, and have been trying to shake him ever since. Despite only being in my neck of the woods for three days, we managed to pack a lot in. Amongst other things, we experienced a personal taiko drumming display, a Christmas meal, a wicked house party, a visit to one of the most famous temples in Japan and a trip to an open air Onsen (hot spring) over looking the ocean. I think Matt particularly enjoyed this part of his stay, as you have to go in naked, and he emerged claiming that he was “King Dong”. Unfortunately ladies, I am unable to back up this claim photographically, as I had left my electron microscope lens at home on that particular day. We also went to a couple of cool restaurants, where Matt fell in love with a waitress, and a cool bar in Ono where Matt fell in love with the size of the whiskey shots.

To end his stay in O-Town, I took him into school for a couple of classes. The first thing the kids said was that Matt was “cool”. It appears I have taught them nothing so far. When I questioned them as to why he was cool, they said he had a “cool face”. However, it seems that my first years are a little more street wise; when the teacher asked one girl if she liked Matt, she replied “No, I don’t”. The same class was slightly rowdier than normal, and they seem to have learnt some new English – “vomit”, “diarrhoea”, and “erotic boy” are the new IN words. One student also presented me with a detailed picture of the male tool that he had spent the entire class drawing. Cheers mate.

The posse that I have named “The Back Flip Boys” were keen to display their latest acrobatics to the NEW gaijin with the cool face, and proudly busted out multiple somersaults, flips and twists on the concrete.

Anyway, all in all, we had a great time, and it seems that Matt enjoyed his stay so much, that he is seriously considering coming back here to teach next year. All the ladies in the house, watch out – the Berkulator is coming for you. Cheers Matt – see you next year.